one year ago

And from the ashes
A resurrection begins
Can’t stop this heartbeat

Depression is weird
We all wear it differently
Spiraling alone

Working together
You can take this if you leave
But please don’t burn us

I’ll never trust you
Why are you asking me to?
You should know better

With the best people
Coloring, legos, and tag
So happy new year

Paralyzing fear
You wake up wrapped in your sheets
Dark, lost, and alone

Trapped inside my mind
Terrible thoughts of darkness
Help me let them out

Little pain pixies
Chipping away at my calm
Steel nails in my brain

I’ve run out of words
Although my heart remains full
Love spills out for you

I picture moments
The sweet sunlight on our hair
That never happened

Want you forever
Your fingers entwined in mine
Us walking in step

See with depression
All the glitter is swept up
You just hit the floor

Love is elusive
It ensnares you, trips you up
And still we chase it

I want you to know
All the pieces of my soul
They fall through my hands

Can you see I try
To keep up with you, to love
Puppy and sportscar

I see what I have
It’s not enough, I want you
I’m greedy, spoil me

I’m afraid of words
They hold such power, such depth
Even unspoken

I know what I want
Swimming while it rains with love
Afraid I’ll get it

I want to love you
But not be chained down by it
I’m not a caged bird

Reviving the heart
Shot of electricity
Zombie lovestory

Making these mistakes
This isn’t what I wanted
Where is my receipt?

more from two years ago

You glitter with light
So fancy from a distance
Yet covered in grime

Present me a wall
Watch me climb and conquer it
I defy limits

The presence of all these mats
Unused and ignored

I can see you now
Floundering through everything
Under the same lights

From sunshine yellow
To a fluffy skeleton
So we pass through life

There is no dinner
Swift shower and microwave
Praying for weekend

I keep on walking
Though my path may twist and turn
At least it is mine

Here we go again
Breathe calm, stay steady, focus
And pull the trigger

I want this moment
Tangible, alive and real
From book fantasy

Such a cheery sight
Watermelon triangle
Cannot wait to bite

Can you see the tears
What if I smile like this
Crazy to distract

Little things matter
More than all the grand phrases
Make me remember

You want to see it
I’m afraid of losing it
Sparkly compromise

My head is aching
My bones are yearning for rest
I need to get home

Pop this in your mouth
Emotions are invalid
Sit still and be good

Right in my pocket
Is a night sky full of stars
And it’s all for you

You don’t believe me
I’m ruthless but I’m honest
You wouldn’t listen

Surveying the land
Chaos tumbles from boxes
With music pulsing

Moments are timeless
Wrapped around random objects
Kept out of the way

Everything happens
Regardless of what you do
So find life’s beauty

You thaw out my heart
But then a new storm rolls in
Part of me shatters

You should fear springtime
For it will change everything
Just wait, you will see

This taste transports me
One afternoon in sunshine
When I learned to knit

Vibrant and alive
Caressing, dancing against
A pot of noodles

i dropped you too fast
into a boiling tempest
look how it scarred you

I just want to sleep
Float away to my dream world
With balloons and stars

They plan my future
Full of opportunity
Hope I can keep up

I don’t know what’s next
The best path for me or you
So I keep stirring

I seem to sit here
Letting your crazy rain down
It doesn’t touch me

Some tidal colors
Swirled together by bamboo
Making new fancies

Like a sandy beach
Being eroded by waves
Goodbye peace of mind

Time to flex my brain
Wrap it around new info
Absorbing knowledge

Sometimes in this world
You are given two options
Decide: do you dare?

Take a normal day
And spritz it with rosewater
Waltz on through the world

We depend on words
To lift us from our bodies
To set our souls free

Just sitting around
We hurried up, now we wait
Playing on our phones

No matter the mess
The hellfire that you face
You can still shine bright

Pretty can be found
During the bleakest winter
If you search for it

And I found myself
Clambering through the woodline
On an adventure

I hope that you grow
In your new pot and soil
You can change the world

Even when you fall
And shatter across the floor
The light still sparkles

Simple but sweet gift
Strung together with such care
To brighten your day

I take each moment
And embrace every second
Even bitter cold

When light hits just right
It transforms ordinary
Into majestic

This fire, it burns
Not for you or me or us
The flames are for them

Obey every word
Sit still, be quiet, don’t touch
Like porcelain dolls

Lurks deep within all of us
You must set it free

I was so hopeful
When I first saw your bare roots
For transformation

Take advantage now
Take care of yourself, learn things
Winter is coming

tiny little fluff
freed from its plastic wrapper
escape to the world

A colorful mess
Being carefully shuffled
Brought back together

Enjoying right now
After all preparation
Before sweat and mud

I go somewhere new
Toward something unexpected
Rounding dark corners

I am swept along
By an unyielding current
Enjoying the view

Sitting safe inside
Though the wind howls and cries
You are here with me

Take this time right now
Secure all important things
Before they are gone

Enjoying the warmth
Before it is turned to ash
And then blown away

Always defiant
Ignoring laws of nature
Constantly fighting

Opinions differ
But our hearts run on the same
Fueled with hope and love

I know you see me
Surely you can realize
We both struggle here

The more you make noise
I dream of better places
Where you are absent

two years ago still

There are no more words
The endless conversations
Need a vacation

Escape the moment
Full of failure, confusion
Brave a whole new world

Running all around
Helping out community
Sink deep into tub

Forever we fight
Every minute of the day
For some happiness

Nectar of the gods
Nestled safely in plastic
Sweet shot of happy

A simple fortune
In the bottom of your purse
Count out the sales tax

A gentle rainstorm
Washing away Texan dust
Purify the day

Another done day
Shuffle back to little nest
Conquer tomorrow

Fear not for your life
Sprinkles McLambchop is here
Have hope, be merry

A scrap of free time
Tangled in calculations
Distract from my life

Water will fall, waves will roll
The sun will shine on

Busy white blood cells
Racing all through my body
Healing many wounds

Enclosed in letter
Handcrafted with care and love
Sweet radiation

Finally friday
Refreshing shower and dinner
Snuggling with blanket

Give me a minute
To scoop up my shattered dreams
Though they cut my hands

Sprinkle all around
False sweetness and light banter
Artificial life

You can rebuild life
Choose the pieces for your board
To hell with the rest

Pouring out my heart
These trials of the moment
Until ink runs out

Release the dragon
Let him feed on my troubles
Devour this day

Craziness abounds
The winds may twist, tear, and howl
But flowers still bloom

In sickness and health
Through the firestorms of life
Til death do us part

Eating like rabbits
Since muscle weighs more than fat
Need to shed six pounds

I don’t wish to see
Let the world wash over me
Until tomorrow

From veins to baggie
A deep burgundy river
To help rescue life

It’s for Halloween
When buying chocolate in bulk
No trick-or-treaters…

More than a necklace
Courageous link to the past
Tiny metal beads

Some random people
Armed with wood ukeleles
Spreading happiness

Where do i go now
Sharks keep circling my boat
Smiling up at me

With such high expectations
For sugary treats

Flung to all corners of earth
All purple covers

Country and city
Blurring lines of astroturf
Windows and sunshine

Far from a mere weed
Mowed down by uncreatives
Purple splendid star

I am the cement
Foundation of family
Without me, you fall

Connected by past
Surging towards peaceful futures
There is always hope

We come, grow, and go
Illuminating our friends
And passing beyond

Worn down by the years
Averting crisis, danger
Just grab it and go

Let me drive away
Chase down a new horizon
Pedal to metal

Scattered all my parts
To the wind, the universe
May they bring you joy

Enjoy wandering
Through the jungle of my life
Looking for sunlight

Feeling so salty
Worn down to my very bones
A sad sack of skin

You hear us stumble
Sounds of anguish in our call
Yet you back away

It’s a whole new world
Less than a mile overhead
Build your sandcastle

You defy logic
Rotten from your inner core
Chaos with a smile

A change in my day
Moments sliding by so fast
As you shift away

Stop talking to me
My head is a volcano
See you tomorrow

Always surprising
Encountering challenges
I can’t overcome

Evidence of love
Spirals all over this world
Little words, gestures

Practice makes perfect
Need to be more well rounded
Buff crackshot genius

Hidden in darkness
Relaxing from a long day
Troubles far away

Manufactured sky
Shuttering my universe
Protect me from rain

two years ago

Orange and purple
Twisted with loving fingers
Sweet combination

A lost holiday
A lone day of remembrance
Still overshadowed

Gaudy and bulky
Slipped on my arm with a smile
Gifted with kindness

Some chocolate cake
Nestled in styrofoam box
Followed by pushups

Ironing clothing
Slightly domesticated
Look smart and fancy

Encased in plastic
Powders, creams, pencils and balms
Enhancing nature

Drowning in sunshine
Sneakers racing down asphalt
Bright bursts of color

Surrounded by light
The laughter, dancing, and love
Of youthful people

Tumultuous spill
Scenery scatters on page
Pouring with drama

Line up, my beauties
Identical pajamas
Under the splendor

Lure of bachata
Music twisting through the air
Sandals swing in time

Product of teamwork
Summer highlight, cake and friends
Impromptu dance class

Simply saturday
Spent reclining in the shade
Flipping through art books

Despite draught and rain
The choke of smog, gusts of wind
We grow to the sky

Composing our life
Magnificent molecules
Essential, water

So tantalizing
Saturated fats, sugar
Process your weight gain

The end of the day
Cozy in denim and kicks
Waiting for sunset

Etched on compact disc
A whole new world, adventure
New life reflections

Splendid happiness
On a ceramic platter
Great day arising

Tall frosted bottle
Glinting amber in the light
Perfect for summer

The sweetest people
On a strange new voyage, deep
Down to my stomach

The lights will lead you
Through the dark forests of time
To the beginning

After a long day
Tea and this dramatic face
Soothe it all away

Cracks on the ceiling
Ripples along the white walls
Block out the sunshine

Rainbow of color
Sliced swiftly with stainless steel
Prepare to saute!

Skip across the pan
Sizzle with barbecue sauce
Decorate my plate

You can’t feel the wind
I clipped you, took you inside
Away from your life

Oozing, pulsing wound
Torn asunder by pullups
Weak body, strong mind

Simple happiness
Woven in colorful threads
These are happy feet

An azure cocoon
Tasked with the impossible
Protect my precious